"Why am I like this?" (AuDHD)

"Why am I like this?"

It's a question many people with ASD and ADHD ask themselves daily. One day you need structure to function. The next day, that same structure feels like a cage. You want to do things perfectly, but you can't focus long enough.

You're too much and too little at the same time.

The paradox of two neurodivergent styles

If you only have ASD, the challenges are clear. If you only have ADHD, the same applies. But when you have both? It feels like two sides of yourself are constantly fighting:

• Your ASD side wants routine → Your ADHD side gets bored in routine

• Your ASD side wants to perfect → Your ADHD side wants something new

• Your ASD side gets overstimulated → Your ADHD side seeks stimulation

Do you recognize this?

✓ Planning gives you both peace and stress

✓ Social situations are overwhelming and boring

✓ You want to focus deeply, but your brain keeps jumping

✓ You're perfectionistic and impulsive

✓ Structure feels necessary and limiting

What if they're not fighting, but dancing?

There's another way to look at ASD + ADHD. Not as a problem that needs to be solved, but as a dance that can be learned.

A dance where both sides have their place. Where sometimes one side leads, sometimes the other. Where you learn when you need structure and when flexibility. When rest and when stimulation.

The first step: recognition

The journey begins with changing one simple question:

❌ "Why am I like this?"

✅ "What does this side of me need right now?"

When you understand that your frustration with a boring task is your ADHD side, you can respond differently. When you recognize that your panic in a busy store is your ASD side, you can make different choices.

Your dance is unique

No two people with ASD + ADHD dance the same way. Your balance between structure and spontaneity is different from someone else's. Your triggers, your energy patterns, your strategies,... all unique.

But the principles? Those are universal.

Are you ready to discover your dance?

In "Maya and the double dance", you follow Maya's journey from confusion to understanding, from struggle to harmony. You'll learn:

• How to recognize and understand both sides

• When each side should lead

• How to manage energy with two opposing patterns

• How to navigate emotions that come from different sources

But more importantly: you'll discover your own choreography.

Maya and the double dance (PDF)

€19.99

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Next blog: Why small things sometimes trigger big emotional reactions, and what ASD and ADHD have to do with it.